From Darkness to Light: Dan Kerr’s Journey of Courage, Sobriety, and New Beginnings

Dan Kerr is a native of Fredericksburg, Iowa, and has spent over 30 years in Des Moines with his wife of 34 years. A proud father and grandfather, Dan is also a seasoned professional in the banking industry, specializing in financing for medical professionals. His journey, however, is marked by a deep commitment to faith and recovery. After battling alcoholism for 40 years and facing the devastating loss of his son, Dan made the courageous decision to embrace sobriety. Now over four years sober, Dan is passionate about giving back, helping others, and living a life of service. His story is one of resilience, faith, and finding joy in both family and recovery.

Thank you for listening! We hope you feel inspired and encouraged by our conversation today. If you did, be sure to share this episode with others.

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See you in the next episode! Be blessed!

Full Transcript

Intro:
Welcome to Courageous by Crossroads Apologetics, a look into what motivates us to step out in courage and the everyday bravery of men and women like you. In each episode, we hear a personal story of bravery centered around this question. What’s the most courageous thing you’ve ever done? And now your host, founder of Crossroads Apologetics, Jeff Johnson. 

Jeff Johnson:
Hey, everybody. Welcome to another edition of the Courageous Crossroads podcast. My friend Dan told me the other day how much he really appreciated the podcast and that he was getting a lot out of each one of the episodes. And I said to him, how about you come be on the show knowing a little bit about his story? And he paused and said, well, that’s not what I was trying to do. And he thought about it after I pressed, and he said, sure, I’d be happy to do it. And so that’s how this episode came about. And you are going to absolutely love what Dan has to say, and it’s going to conjure up the courage in each and every one of you, and you might have something that you want to share as well. 

Jeff Johnson:
Reach out, let us know that you’re out there, and love to have you on as a guest, but first and foremost, you are really going to appreciate what Dan has to say this morning. So without further ado, here is my dear friend, Dan Kerr. Dan, thanks for joining us on the Courageous Crossroads podcast. 

Dan Kerr:
Great to be here. 

Jeff Johnson:
You and I have known each other for a little while, and I don’t know a whole lot about your story, so I’m really excited to hear from you today. But I know some of your story, and I know that our listeners are really going to enjoy this today, but could you give people a little bit of a background, who you are and where you live, and a little bit about your family or whatever you want to share to put you in context for people? 

Dan Kerr:
Sure. Thanks, Jeff, first of all, for having me on the podcast. I’ve listened to a handful of your podcasts and really enjoyed them, and I’m just super grateful and humbled to be here, honestly. But, yeah. Dan Kerr, born and raised in Iowa, grew up in a small town up in Northeast Iowa, Fredericksburg. Town of a thousand people. I graduated with 28 kids in my. 

Jeff Johnson:
Class and a thousand people. I thought I was from a small town down in Sheraton, but a thousand people. 

Dan Kerr:
Thousand people. That was a while ago. Went on to school at Northern Iowa. Go Panthers. Yep. But, yeah, we’ve been down in Des Moines now for. Oh, geez, 30. What is 33 years? My wife and I have been married 34 years this month. 

Jeff Johnson:
Congratulations. 

Dan Kerr:
Super, super grateful for that. We have three children. This part of my story is, and maybe we’ll get into it a little bit, but people I first meet asked, how many children do you have? So we have three children. A daughter, a son, and then another daughter. And unfortunately, just about seven years ago, we lost our son. So he was 21 at the time. And so that’s part of my story. Our story. But our other two daughters live here in town. Our oldest daughter is married and blessed us with a grandson just about a year ago. Jeremiah, who is just the blessing, is unbelievable in our lives. 

Jeff Johnson:
And before we started with the podcast, Dan showed me a video. He’s like, jeff, you got to see this video. Because I’m going to be a grandpa in the end of October. And I’m so excited. First time grandpa on the end of October. So you’re showing me a picture of your grandson throwing popcorn on the floor for the dog, laughing his head off. Oh, my gosh, Dan, that’s great stuff. 

Dan Kerr:
It’s just been, it’s just been an incredible blessing. My, my wife taught and was a teacher. Just retired a year ago after 30 years of teaching. So she’s just navigating retirement right now. Gets to, gets to watch the grandson every Wednesday. And you know, like I said, luckily they’re here in town. And so, yeah, we’re just, you know, I turned 59 this month. You know, I’m at a point in my life where, you know, I’m looking at, you know, what’s next for me, you know, fortunately I, you know, in pretty good spot to retire, you know, as soon as next year. But, you know, I’m just, you know, trying to figure out what I want to do next. So that’s a little bit of our story and just graceful again to be here. 

Jeff Johnson:
What’s your trade? 

Dan Kerr:
What are you retiring from? I work for Bank Midwest and our banks are based in northwest Iowa, southwest Minnesota and South Dakota. And we have a specialty division that I work in that the president and I started 15 years ago for the bank. And what we do is finance equipment for doctors across the country. So we do a lot of dental financing, veterinarian, and I specifically do a lot of medical financing, a lot of lasers for plastic surgeons and dermatologists. And so it’s kind of a really niche market for the bank. But, you know, we started this thing 15 years ago and have grown it to the largest producer for the bank. And so it’s been a good ride. And so, yeah, I’ve been very blessed in my career. 

Jeff Johnson:
That’s wonderful. Well, so you and I have probably known each other for. Dan, tell me how long? 

Dan Kerr:
Well, almost five years. 

Jeff Johnson:
Almost five years. 

Dan Kerr:
Yeah. 

Jeff Johnson:
And I gotta say, the thing that, you know, you notice things about people, they have these little hallmarks, these little things that are just so unique about them. And, Dan, you’re like one of the most joyful, positive people that I know, and I so admire that about you. Where does that. Where does that come. Well, first of all, do you know that about yourself? Do you recognize that about yourself? And where does that come from? 

Dan Kerr:
You know, I. You know, it’s funny you say that a little bit. I don’t. I guess I don’t really notice it myself so much, but I’ve had a lot of people, you know, say something similar to that. Like there’s some little aura about you when you. There is, you know, and walk into a room and, you know, I think part of it is just because I’m a smiler. I mean, when I see people, I smile and try to make eye contact. So I think that’s probably a big thing that. And I just seem to. It kind of drives my wife nuts when we’re, like, out in public because, you know, I’m always trying to look at people and make eye contact and smile and, you know, she just. She always gives me a hard time about that. 

Dan Kerr:
But, yeah, I don’t know what it is. You know, I’ve always, you know, I’ve always just been a pretty happy guy, you know, and. 

Jeff Johnson:
Yeah, it’s infectious. And I love being around you because it’s. And other, you know, we talk about you behind your back. We shouldn’t do that. But it’s like that is. That’s one of your hallmarks. You just bring joy into a room. Do you feel like you do that at the bank and at work and stuff, too? You know, it’s. 

Dan Kerr:
Yeah, definitely. Yeah. I, you know, I try to bring that most of the time to that, to the workplace. And I know it’s, you know, in my work career, a lot of people have commented as well, you know, that, you know, I try to make the workplace, you know, kind of a happy place as well. So. 

Jeff Johnson:
So I’m curious now. I’m going to get down to the question, what’s the most courageous thing you’ve ever done? I’m not asking you that just yet, but I’m curious because you’ve mentioned that you’ve listened to the podcast, you know, and you’ve been listening to it for probably since we started. When you hear these stories of courage, because we’re starting to develop quite a catalog now, what’s the emotion that comes up in you? What’s the. Do you think, man, I want to tell my story, too? Or how did that lady do that? Or how did that guy do that? Or what’s the. What’s been your reaction to the podcast in general? I don’t even know if that’s a fair question, but I’m asking it anyway. 

Dan Kerr:
No, yeah, it’s. It’s funny. Like, were kind of talking before we started here. This I’ve just been feeling. And part of it is, you know, I guess I’ll maybe back up a little bit and, you know, and how we know each other is through recovery. And the recovery is such an important part of my story. I drank for 40 years, Jeff. You know, I started 8th grade summer back in Fredericksburg, and there was hardly a weekend in 40 years that I didn’t drink. Not just a few beers, quite a few beers. And, you know, part of my story is I was this Alcoholism, for me, really progressed slowly, and it got to a point it was getting very serious before we lost our son seven years ago. But that. That, for me was just. That was a catalyst to. 

Dan Kerr:
And I don’t know if that’s the right word, but to really. To really let loose and, you know, like, why wouldn’t Dan drink? I mean, he lost, you know, he lost a son. And so that, you know, that I just use that as an excuse to even drink more. So not that we need to go down that whole path of my recovery, but I just. When I finally decided to get sober, because I was getting to the point where I was going to lose my wife and my relationship with our daughters, Luckily, God got ahold of me, Jeff, and I surrendered to this. That’s really when my life started to change, when I finally decided to get sober and work this program that. 

Dan Kerr:
To start going down the courageous part, that was one of the first times I really felt pretty courageous that I needed to do this. And this was. I tried to stay sober for quite a while just for my wife and daughters and job and all that, but I need to do it for myself. And when I finally did that, you know, my life has just been, you know, changed dramatically in the last. So I’ve been. I’ve been sober a little over four and a half years now. You know, praise God. It really, you know, so that’s. That was the first part when I, you know, when you asked me to do this, I’m thinking about courageous. I’m like, you know, I’m, you know, like I said, I’m pretty just, you know, average Joe type guy, and. 

Dan Kerr:
But, you know, hopefully maybe a little bit of my story will resonate with somebody out there that’s. That’s struggling because it took me a long time to get to where I am today, but this. So when I. When I finally decided to get sober, you know, I started just different attitude at life and, you know, how can I be of service to people? And so I’m, you know, part of this podcast is like, you know, and listening to your podcast is like, you know, what is. What does God have planned for me next here? You know, so I’m. I’m excited about it. I was thinking about it yesterday and, you know, doing this, I’m like, you know, I was being kind of goofy. I was like, I know God’s got my resume, and he’s. He’s got a lot of work out there, and I’m. 

Dan Kerr:
I’m looking forward to seeing what that is, so. 

Jeff Johnson:
Wow. Wow. Well, you said a whole lot there. I mean, there’s a whole lot of courage in what you just said. And, yeah, we say in our recovery program, you know, that the difference between an alcoholic and a normal person. A normal person breaks their shoelace, they go get a new shoelace. An alcoholic breaks their shoelace, and they go get a drink. And it makes perfect sense. It totally does, guys like you and me. So when you talk about the tragedy with your son and how it amps up, everything amps up. That’s par for the course, you know, I mean, any little hiccup. I remember just being very transparent early on in recovery. That was one of the things that, honestly, I mean, I even feel funny saying this, but I’ll just say it. 

Jeff Johnson:
I hoped for some kind of tragedy, some kind of real difficulty where people would look upon me and go, well, no wonder. If I was in this situation, I would go drink, too. And that’s just. That’s back to these hallmarks. That’s the hallmark of the alcoholic, I guess. But, man, good for you. And I’ve learned so much from you in the recovery rooms that you and I have had an opportunity to share in as well, Dan. So define for me, okay? Because I asked the question, what was it about the podcast that. What did you think about? You know, and you’re talking about how it conjured up your own story of courage. So define for me what courage means to you. How would you. How would you define that? 

Dan Kerr:
Yeah, that’s. As I think about it today right now, Jeff, I would say, you know, getting out of your comfort zone, for sure. You know, getting out of your comfort zone, you know, hearing stories like Brandon and Will keeps and, you know, just like, you know, really doing something that is not comfortable for me. And I don’t know, you know, quite what that is yet, but, you know, I’m praying about it. You know, we’ve got my. My wife. 

Jeff Johnson:
So you’ve done that already with your trip in recovery, but now you’re really looking at your life and going, is there a. Is there another leap of faith that I need to take right now? What’s God got in store for me? What’s the next courageous thing? Is that right? 

Dan Kerr:
Exactly. Exactly. It was kind of funny. We were just over at our daughter’s home last Sunday, and so I’m starting to talk about, you know, what’s next for me, you know, if I do kind of retire next year, you know, semi retire or whatever. And my daughter said, well, you know, what are you going to do? And I’m like, well, maybe I’ll just help Brandon, you know, free slaves in Pakistan. You know, she’s not gonna be so, you know. Right. You know what I mean? Seriously, you know, maybe I’ll start a business and help support some ministry, or maybe I’ll start my own ministry or, you know, we’ve got. My wife and I have gotten involved with Hope Ministries. You know, we like, you know, serving for them. 

Dan Kerr:
You know, I don’t know what it is yet, but this whole process, even today, is really stirring at me. Like I said, it’s just like, I know God’s pulling at me to do something. I’m not quite sure what it is yet, but maybe doing this. Who knows what’s going to happen as far as what that looks like. But I’m excited about it because one of the things, you know, with this. With this recovery program is that, you know, I, you know, I just want to finish strong, Jeff, you know, I really do. Yeah. So. 

Jeff Johnson:
Okay, well, I want to know what the most courageous thing is that you’ve ever done. So let’s jump right into it. Dan, what is the most courageous thing you’ve ever done? 

Dan Kerr:
Yeah, I would really say, and I thought about this a little bit just because I knew you were going to ask me that. So, you know, I would have to say getting sober is the most courageous thing I’ve ever done, it really is. It was. You know, I just could not ever envision my life with alcohol, not in it. And getting sober was such a big thing for me. I’m sure for most of the listeners are listening, they’re like, that doesn’t seem very courageous to me. But for me, it really was because it saved my marriage. I mean, I’m telling you, Jeff, if I wouldn’t have got sober, I wouldn’t have celebrated 34 years of marriage this month. I wouldn’t have a relationship with my daughters and my grandson, which I can’t even believe. I can’t even imagine that being part of their lives. 

Dan Kerr:
And, you know, showing you that video today, and it’s so. I mean, that’s. I. I don’t know how courageous that is, but I’m. That is the most grateful thing I am. I have. Is. Is. Is becoming. Is getting sober because it’s just. It’s just affected so many people in my life. My relationships with my brothers. You know, my mom as we moved her down to Des Moines, and just seeing the joy in her face that her son is, you know, back. And that’s, you know, back to a little bit at the beginning of the story. You know, that’s why I’m so happy today, honestly. I mean, I was kind of a happy person before, but I’m. I’m kind of extra happy these days. 

Jeff Johnson:
Did you grow up with a family where alcohol was common? I mean, was that kind of the thing that you were grown up in, or were you avant garde? You started that. 

Dan Kerr:
No. Yeah. There’s a family history of alcoholism in my family, and, you know, my parents divorced when I was in high school, and a lot of it had to do with my. My father’s alcoholism, you know. You know, unfortunately, he’s no longer with us, and he never, you know, he was never able to beat this disease, honestly. And so, you know, I never had that relationship with him at the. You know, the. You know, after college. So, you know, it’s. It’s, you know, obviously a sad part of the. Of my journey. And did he try to get help. 

Jeff Johnson:
And it just didn’t take, or did he not. 

Dan Kerr:
Yeah, he tried to get some help over the years, and, yeah, it never, you know, it never really took, so. 

Jeff Johnson:
Gosh. So your mom must be even more joyous seeing you come out the other side of that. 

Dan Kerr:
She really is, yeah. Very joyous. I have two younger brothers, one here in Des Moines and the one who lives in Florida. And, you know, I Was. I was not a very good big brother, Jeff. I was, you know, and, you know, hurt. Hurt them also. And, you know, I can just see that, you know, see the joy. My relationship with my two brothers is just, you know, wonderful these days when I wasn’t a very good big brother. So it’s just, you know, all my relationships and, you know, is when, you know, when you’re sober and you’re present and, you know, you’re, you know, being of service to people, it’s just. It’s just a great way to live. 

Jeff Johnson:
So I. I was mostly a solo drinker. I mean, when I was out with the crowd, I. I could drink and assimilate and, you know, I mean, you get along with whatever situation the situation presents, you know, you make it work. But most of the drinking that I did was alone, so I would like to do that. You said your disease was progressive and it grew slowly over time. Were you a solo drinker or were you a social drinker or what was the. What did it look like? 

Dan Kerr:
Yeah, it was mainly a social drinker for years and years, you know, all through college and, you know, all through when our kids were younger and, you know, the people we ran around with, it was. It was mainly all social drinking, you know, going out, you know, and then, you know, then, like, it just progressed, you know, then we started, you know, drinking, you know, a bottle of wine and, you know, my wife and I. And then. And then. So, yeah, for a lot of years it was. It was pretty social drinking. But then towards the end, when. When I always, you know, when this thing really, this disease really got ahold of me, I became an isolated drinker also. I would do the social thing, you know, but I would have to isolate drink before I went to a social. Social type function. 

Jeff Johnson:
And you had to get a head start. 

Dan Kerr:
I had to get a head start. And then I didn’t, you know, then when I got home, I didn’t want to stop. I just. I never wanted to stop drinking once I started, you know, to the point where, I mean, I needed to drink every day. And yeah, it was. It was a vicious cycle. 

Jeff Johnson:
What was the thing? Was there a particular trigger or was it just a sense or you just reached an asymptote where enough was enough? I mean, what was the thing that made you go. Done. 

Dan Kerr:
Great question. You know, I got sober back in 2019 and stayed. Stayed sober for about seven months and didn’t really do anything, was just. We call it white knuckling it. And then I started drinking again and you know, I’m telling you know, one day, Jeff, you know, I could. I knew this thing was going downhill again. And for some reason, on February morning on the 25th, I got on my knees and just said, God, I just can’t do this. I mean, I was just like, I cannot do this, and just really surrendered and begged take this obsession away from me. And I didn’t get it. There wasn’t any white. 

Jeff Johnson:
Had you ever done that before? 

Dan Kerr:
No, not that intentional. I prayed, oh, yeah, help me type thing, but to really, you know, to really surrender this thing. And there was no white light moment where, you know, but that next morning, I went to a meeting and it was. It was just a little different. You know, luckily, you know, I got a sponsor I have today. And, you know, that’s a God thing too, where, I don’t know, it was just different. I just was like. I just felt different and really started working our program. And so I really give all the credit to God for taking that obsession out of my soul and mind. 

Jeff Johnson:
See, this is the kind of thing that I’ve had an opportunity to hear you for the last four and a half years share. And I want to thank you, Dan, because, I mean, this is the thing that helps me stay sober. And I’m just so grateful because I can relate. You know, the Proverbs 27:17 says, as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. And you’ve meant that to me. And I’ve got so much admiration for you and the kind of program that you work and you can tell with people. And I don’t know that this just has to do with alcoholics or drug addicts or whatever. I think people, everybody who’s listening to this podcast, I think can relate. When people come to the end of themselves, you can just tell they’re just different. They’ve just made a decision. 

Jeff Johnson:
And that’s a powerful thing that you did, and I’m. I’m grateful for it myself. So that is a whole lot of courage. Okay, so I’m curious about other people in your life that represent courage to you. It doesn’t have to be in the recovery community or whatever, but I’m curious what you notice as being a quality of courage in somebody else. 

Dan Kerr:
Yeah, I’m glad you brought that up, just because I really wanted to share today with how much appreciation and courage my wife had to stick with me during this, through this journey. I mean, there’s a lot of women that would have went running for the hills. The things I put my wife through. And, boy, she had the courage to stick with me. She didn’t want to give up on me. And I am so grateful for that, Jeff. And our daughters as well. But my wife was just. I gave her plenty of opportunity to want to leave, and she just did not give up on me. And I am so grateful for that. She’s just been my rock in this journey and been very supportive in my recovery. And it’s just so. I’m just so grateful to see her today. 

Dan Kerr:
You know, she’s just a happy person, and she doesn’t. It’s just wonderful that. And our daughters as well. And so it’s just. But to answer your question is, you know, my wife just displayed the courage. 

Jeff Johnson:
That I really admire, that steadfastness that stick to itiveness. Not cut and run. 

Dan Kerr:
Cut and run. Right. 

Jeff Johnson:
When you probably had every excuse to do that. 

Dan Kerr:
Definitely. 

Jeff Johnson:
Wow. Do you think courage is something that just happens upon somebody? Do you think. Because you’re talking about being inspired by the podcast and the courage that you’ve already displayed to go through a new endeavor, So I feel you getting ready to act courageously, like, on purpose. 

Dan Kerr:
Right. 

Jeff Johnson:
So do you think courage is something that is intuitive to people, or do you think it’s something that’s taught or. 

Dan Kerr:
That’s a good question. I would guess. I would say more intuitively, people have it within them. 

Jeff Johnson:
It just needs an event or something to call it out. Right. 

Dan Kerr:
And that’s why kudos to you for doing this podcast, honestly, because it’s given me a lot to think about hearing the stories of the people you’re interviewing. Like, man, I want to do something, you know, whether it’s. It doesn’t have to be big, like going to free slaves in Pakistan or that type of thing, but just doing something more than just getting out of your comfort zone, like I said earlier, is just to do something that. Do God’s will, you know, instead of our own will and, you know, to be of service, help people, just give back. I mean, I’ve been very blessed, and that’s why I always want to. I feel like I’m so grateful for this recovery program and blessed the blessings I have, and I just want to. I want to give back. I want to give back. 

Jeff Johnson:
Yeah, that’s great. How would you encourage somebody else? Somebody’s. Maybe somebody’s wrestling with the drinking problem or a drug problem or something like that, or maybe somebody’s just got an issue with business and it’s a flat tire, and they don’t Know what to do. How would you encourage somebody? 

Dan Kerr:
I would, you know, obviously I would ask them, you know, to reach out to a mentor somebody. Whether it’s church, friendship, whatever. I mean just reach out to people and you know, start asking people questions on because yeah, I found that a lot of people want to tell their story and maybe if you’re asking questions and they can resonate with something that you know, you’re telling them and you know, reaching out. I mean obviously you know that iron. 

Jeff Johnson:
Sharpens iron thing, right? Absolutely. 

Dan Kerr:
Yeah. 

Jeff Johnson:
Yeah. There’s so many people that I know. What was the thing I was going through the other day? Oh, I went to see this movie the Forge. Yeah, Crossroads. Courageous Crossroads is giving a plug for the movie the Forge. It was such a wonderful movie. I went to see it with my son in law and his dad and some other guys and it’s about the importance of small groups and getting in that circle. And when I was sitting and watching that movie I was counting my blessings not only about the recovery program but other faith filled circles, you know, and people that I can pick up the phone and call. So I’m doubling down on your encouragement to other people that are facing a difficult decision that iron sharpens iron. 

Jeff Johnson:
That reaching out to somebody, that finding a mentor, finding somebody to coach them or help them along or just share a cup of coffee with them is super, super powerful. So yeah, thanks for mentioning that. Dan. Any other final thoughts about courage? I’m going to let you out of here. Anything else you to say? 

Dan Kerr:
You know the only thing I did want to share just because it’s something I think about quite often with our son and I don’t know how related it is to courage, but our son was a swimmer in high school and he had to go to 5 o’clock practice and he’d always. So he’d have to be up at 4:30 in the morning and so he’d be going to bed early. And I always. One of my sayings with him was always when he’d walk up the steps and we’d be in the living room and I’d always say I love being your dad. And he’d always tell me I love being your son. And I picture this often. 

Dan Kerr:
Obviously I have a lot of pictures in the house and on my desk at work and everything I always picture quite often is when God calls me home that our son is going to be standing there by Jesus and I want to look him in the eyes and have him tell me, dad. Good job. You know, you took care of your mom and your sisters. So that is, you know, to my early kind. I want to finish strong, Jeff, and I think, you know, hopefully God has a, a plan for the next 20 years where I can, you know, really be of service and give back. 

Dan Kerr:
And, and I’m just, you know, that’s a little bit on my mind, you know, this morning and just super grateful to that you asked me to do this because definitely got me out of my comfort zone this morning to do something like this, which I’ve never done. So just want to kind of share those thoughts, too. 

Jeff Johnson:
You’re a good man, Dan Kerr, and a man of great courage. Thank you so much for sharing with us today. 

Dan Kerr:
Thanks, Jeff. 

Outro:
Thank you for joining us today on Courageous. If you’d like to hear more about the work and ministry being done at Crossroads Apologetics, please visit our home on the web at crossroadsapologetics.org Would you or someone you know like to be featured on Crossroads Courageous? Send us an email at info@crossroadsapologetics.com or info@ crossroadsapologetics.org telling us about the most courageous thing you’ve ever done.